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The Press. (Cortland, N.Y.) 1972-1990, September 18, 1987, Image 17

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The Press/Friday. September 18. 19S7/SEVENTEEN Andy Rooney----------------------------------- Preacher friend a pleasure-seeker My old school classmate, Howard Hageman, has baked cinnamon Danish and The New York Times and also asked Him to \give His olessing to this done very well in religion and he was the guest by 8 a.m. . country and this land.\ I'll be interested to see what preacher at the beautiful little New England church When the restaurant opened two years ago, it was happens. The theme of Howard's sermon posed the ~n our tiny upstate New York town. I liked Howard having trouble getting a liquor license because it question of whether people are happiernow than m school and I was curious about how he did it, so I was less than the 200 foot state-mandated distance they were 200 years ago when our small town was went to church. from the l:hurch. founded. He said that just because we have all these When I knew Howard best, he was manager of The Palmer House has a wine license now and it \instruments of pleasure\ doesn't mean we're hap- our undefeated high school football team. He went sounds as though it has arrived at some quid pro pier. to Harvard and subsequently became president of quo with the church: The people who pray can go to the New Brunswick Theological Seminary. the bathroom at the restaurant and the restaurant There were 39 people in church Sunday morning, can have a wine license only 198 feet from the last a pretty good crowd. The interior of the church is pew. · perfect. It is absolutely plain, about 60 feet across Howard has gained a lot of weight but he has and 80 feet long, painted a kind of Williamsburg gained a lot of presence, too. He's no Jimmy Swag- off-white. There are 12 rows of pews, divided by a gart, but he knows how to dp it. He began by speak- center aisle. The minister stands at a simple ing to us about the Lord and was very professional mahogany lectern, framed by two white, fluted col- with his change of pace and change of volume. He umns that go from the floor to the roof. would speak softly for a minute and then, with a Howard greeted the congregation and. then, dramatic gesture, turn up the volume and shout at before asking the members to· pray, and realizing us. He was ..good and never at a loss for words. , some of the people had come a distance to hear The congregation was good, too. Everyone in it but him, said that if anyone had to go to the bathroom me knew when to stand and when to sit down. I was after the service, they could do it at the Palmer brought up a Presbyterian but had forgotten that House Cafe just up the street. they don't kneel. Howard said he was Dutch The Palmer House is one of the best things that Reformed but later at lunch when I asked him to ex- ever happened to our town. It's a serious little plain the difference, he was enjoying his chicken restaurant that has even arranged to get the Sunday salad and deflected the question. papers so we no longer have to drive 12 miles for During the prayers, Howard called on the Lord them. Sunday morning I can pick up four fresh- to end all wars, heal the sick, console the grieving \Pleasure Howard said, \is doing what we like to do.\ There was a clear· implication in his sermon that this could lead us to what he called \the hell of fire.'' Being myself a pleasure-seeker, I was uneasy. When Howard and I were in The Academy together, we attended chapel every morning and sang four of five songs, including one hymn. I love those hymns I learned and I thought Howard was letting me down until the last one he chose. It was one called \Love Divine.\ It starts: \Love's divine all love's excelling.\ My favorite line is: \Take away our bent to sinning alpha and omega be.\ I never knew what it meant but it was great to sing. Howard was tough on us sinners, and I was pleas- ed to note at lunch that Howard himself is mortal when he smoked 10 instruments of pleasure in a lit~ tie more than an hour. (c) 1987 Tribune Media Services, Inc. ArtBuchvvald------------~-------------------- . .__ White hats don't want more cheese There is, and I do not make this up, an ~fort to force America's fr-ozen pizza makers to use 900 per- cent more mozzarella dairy cheese in pepperoni or other meat-topped pizza. A lobbyist who is fighting the mozzarella incur- sion told me the white hats are the frozen pizza m.~nufacturers who want nothing more than to sell a nutritious pizza with a less costly soybean cheese substitute. The black hats, according to the pizza lobbyists, are the dairymen who maintain that the more moz- zarella you use in frozen pizza, the more money the government will save in dairy subsidies. [The black hats are talking about $50 million a year, which looks good to Congress.) But the white hats say there is more to pizza than just saving money on cheese surplus subsidies. Frozen pizza is a very fragile dish and if you load it down with more mozzarella than it can support, it will become a gooey mess and slide down your shirt. For another thing, using real cheese on the top would force the price of pizza up and create a terri· ble hardship on children and lower forms of life, who are pizzas' biggest consumers. The frozen pizza lobbyist declares that his people are playing hardball. They maintain that using real mozzarella on pizza will add to everyone's intake of saturated fat and cholesterol, and they cite the American Heart Association study stating we should all be eating less dairy profucts if we want to live longer. The black hats say this is baloney and the white hats are just trying to prevent legislation which would make it mandatory for all non-mozzarella pizza to be labeled \cheese substitute.\ The white hats admit that is exactly what they want to do. As one impassioned pizza lawyer said, \Why should the frozen pizza manufacturers subsidize the dairy industry? Would Napolean Ill ever have been able to invent margarine if the butter lobby had had its way and insisted on pure butter oo Fnn:h um:?\ 1re daily lcbl:ry 5aYS it a:uktn't care hs about selling surplus cheese. But as loyal Americans they are concerned that the people of this country are be- ing cheated out of their .. daily ration of mozzarella. The white hats say the dairy le want to destroy the frozen pizza as we know it and replace it with a pizza made entirely of cheese with a tiny piz- za crust. There is nothing, they say, as good as frozen pizza with soybean oil mix. This doesn't sound like and earthshaking pro- blem comparable to how many ships you can sail through the eye of the Strait of Hormuz. But at the same time, it is war. At stake is a billion-dollar piz- za industry and enough surplus cheese to feed everyone in the state of California. Constituional rights are also involved. Who decides in a democratic nation how much moz- zarella should be sprinkled on each frozen pizza? Will it be the gqvern ment or the PEOPLE? I hap- pen to like mozzarella on my pizza, but my friend Jack Burke prefers a healthier, less expensive cheese substitute. What Burke and I both want is freedom of choice. \If you allow the dairy farmer lobby to force mozzarella on your pizza,\ the white hat lawyer said, \the next thing you know is he'll try to spread it on all nachos in America.'' [c) 1987, Los Angeles Times Syndicate Question of the Week· What is your favorite class, and why ? Rich Sheehe Sociology Major \Marxism class. I think it's ... a lot better than the exploitive capitalist - system. Janet Lagerman Phys. Ed Major ''I guess History of Sport, because it was with Dr. Clark.'' Kimm Schumacher Health Major ''Mental and Emotional Health, because Bill Seachrist was the best teacher I've ever had.\ Adam Wolman Radio and TV Major ''Interpersonal Com- municatiQns, because it has a lot of class_ par- ticipation. It's in- teresting.'' Erin Perry Elementary Ed Major \Political Science 101. I think the course is in- teresting and the pro- fessor is good.\ { ~-~·' I .

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