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Stella King l^amtlton Wittuth Ci»KL L. FRY ESTATE, Proprietor. Wells, N. Y “A PAPER FOR THE PEOPLE OF HAMILTON COUNTY” ARTHUR A. H0YT. Editor. W ells. N. Y. V<M« XLVIII NO. 2 VYELLS, N. Y., THURSDAY, JANUARY 10, .1946 0 juc I l Slfwotiu. WxvfL, and. GihsOc ^ivdojuA. TKUAhapA. 1%5 By PAUL JONES IDiTCCtor ot Public Inform a tion, N a tional S a f e ty Council.) \lYIG things happened in 1945. j D The w a r ended. The atom bomb busted. Taxes began to come down. And M r. Bonner was shot by a duck. Mr. Bonner is, of course, Mr. Stanley J. Bonner of Houston, Tex as, as every duck now knows. On a fine October day he grabbed his irusty automatic pistol and ven tured into the back yard to shoot a couple of domestic ducks. Duck No. 1 at the first shot. But-Duck Ho. 2, a more aggressive type, leaped at Mr. Bo.nner, jarred his arm and caused the gun to go off. The bullet hit Mr. Bonner in the iaiee. The duck? Still alive and Wacky? Sure. But no wackier thann a lotot of otherther freakreak accidentsccidents tna a l ot o t a that happened in 1945. For a round- np by the National Safety Council 5 that come war, come peace, people go right on having the darn- ■«dest things happen. to them, wit: Mrs. Edward Comfort, of Brook lyn, was drivini ber 15-month-old beside her in a ‘■basket strapped to- the seat of the car. So far as Mrs. Comfort knew, there were no hard feelings between'her and the baby. But the child suddenly stopped con tentedly drinking. milk out of a nursing bottle, swung the bottle lust- ay and conked Mrs-. Comfort neatly m the head. Dazed, she let go the wheel and the car overturned in a QSitch. Neither mother nor baby was Kurt. Hard-Headed Fellow. Not so allergic to a thump on the head is Charles Anderson, a hardy resident of Los Angeles. Mr. Ander son, in fact, has reason to re gard himself as practically lllde- slructible. He was repairing a wall ®ne day when a concrete block fell from a fourth-storyfourth-story scaffoldc£ and hit bim smack on the head. He reeled s ack on the heac Mito the street,' just in time to be struck down by Policeman Jess HaeneTs motorcycle. He recover( satisfactorily from both accidents. And Mrs.- Dorothy Jensenius was -walking in Chicago's loop one day -when, lo and behold, a bucket came hurtling do-wn and hit her kerplunk. B had been dropped by a dismayed window washer seven stories up. A shoulder and a dent ibe damage. In Toledo, Mrs.- Margaret Cook’s ear blew a tire at a railroad cross- mg and careened down the tracks toward an approaching freight train. The auto struck a signal switch and threw a red block against the train, automatically stopping it. *Stiek of Wood’ Goes Boom! When a pin in her washing ma- dhine broke off, Mrs. Axel Soder of Makinen; Minn., looked around the louse for a substitute pin and final- jly found something she thought was fast the thing. She sawed off the (Bad of it and started to hammer it into the machine. She might have done- it, too, if the substitute pin hadn’t exploded and blown her clear across the room. She had selected a stick of dynamite i t e . Hits Right Post. d’s cab skidded into a lamp post in Regina, Taxi-driver Ethel Sheffield’s cab to death if a fire alarm box on the lamp post hadn’t been set off by the crash, bringing firemen to the rescue. Every returning G.I. is mighty glad to see the family again, but few are so vociferous in their greet- ay, you begin to wonder, i in Utica, N. Y., and again \an-riia e n r i ’c- ___________ ick, set fire to the floor of each truck, only to have the heat of the fire break the bottle and the water put out the flames. Fire in Fire Station. Probably the most embarrassed firemen in the country were the members, of the volunteer depart ment of Columbus Manor, 111., the night an exploding gasoline tank in a pumper wagon set fire to the fire station. Unable to get their own equipment out of the station to fight the flames, the Columbus Manor laddies had to look on glumly while firemen from nearby towns did the job. lopie stick their necks out in various ways, but not so spec tacularly as did Virginia Triplett, an elevator operator in St. Paul. Miss Triplett was leaning, her head out side the elevator on the first floor when the automatic doors closed. Passersby tugged at the doors by hand until they could be opened by mechanics. Doorframes Too Low Out in Hollywood, where anything can happen, “Sunset” Carson, six- foot-five cowboy movie actor, went to the studio'hospital for an aspirin to help his headache. Coming out, he struck his head against the door frame, keeled over unconscious and had to have four stitches taken in his scalp. Whether it was a suicide pact or just an_accident, no one will ever une^day lagt.JMarcl family’s two dogs on the floor, overcome by gas. They had, in some manner, turned on the stove. They were revived and haven’t tried it again. Every year sorneone lets a train of Denver. Mr. Spitzer did it the pass over him without serious re sults.- In 1945 it was Jesse Spitzer ivay by first having hii accident. This thr< auto accident. This threw him through the roof of his car and land ed him on his back in the middle of the track just as the train came along, Mr. Spitzer lay quietly and securely until the engine and long string of freight cars had roared over him, then found he had broken a leg—in the auto accident. No year would be complete, of course, without someone falling safe ly out of a third-sto^y girf was Bev^ly Kay Schwartz, 20 months old, of Maywood, 111., who escaped with a slight head injury. Just to be different, a Chicago baby took his mother along with him when he went for a two-story plimge to the street. The year-old child slipped from a porch railing. His mother, Mrs. Audrey Hudson, grabbed for him, got him, lost her balance, and mother and son\ fell together. Neither was seriously Most farsighted plunger of the year was James Hearn of Seattle, who fell three floors down an air shaft to land cozily in an easy chair. Ambulance Throws Her Out. As Mrs. Clara Wagner accompan ied a sick friend to a Chicago hos pital, the ambulance in which they were riding turned a corner so sharply that the rear door flew open and Mrs. Wagner was catapulted into the street. She was returned to the ambulance, and continued the journey—as a patient. scared a deliveryman’s running, awa: liveryman time to stc_ Bobcats don’t frighten Mrs. Don aldson of Bireen, Colo. When she came suddenly upon a big one her turkey yard, she fearlesj>ij attacked it. The seized a club bobcat’sbeat hideide suffer a single scratch, s h no^ kitchen. Mrs. Donaldson did not hangs in the An ordinary field mouse ran up the steering wheel of an automo bile driven by Hollis Lee Randolph of 'Topanga, Calif. Mr. Randolph, who couldn’t have been more star- tied had it been an elephant, l05t control-* of his car, ran it into a ditch and turned it nver. Neither he nor the mouse was hurt. A Liberty iship crashed into a bridge in Boston harbor, knocking a 90-foot section of the bridge into' the water. Although the structure carries elevated lines, automobile traffic and foot ways, there were no trains, no autos and no pedestrians on it at the time of the accident. Yet it was midday, when'traffi'c is usually heavy. No one was hurt on the ship, either. One of life’s little mysteries to doctors and economists came when 17-month-old Larry Lingle of .Har risburg, Pa., swallowed a nickel and.coughed up a penny. Henry Hale slipped on the-ice in Chicago. A policeman asked him if he was hurt. “I broke my leg,” replied Henry, calmly. “Take me The police did so, then asked so licitously,. “What doctor do you want?” “Doctor!” Hale snorted. “What I want is a carpenter.” Yes, it was a wooden leg. And just as a reminder of how tough things really were during the ■\chael Babich walked up to cer in Newark, N. J., during the height of the tobacco shortage, facetiously asked for a cig arette, got one, and fainted! ^ar. Mid fellow worker IN THESE UNITED STATES . . . At Miami Beach, Fla., they relax in the shade of palm trees (left), while the temperature soars into the 80s. But it is a different story on New York’s Fifth avenue, where old man winter paid a visit.^ Right, shows Fifth avenue crowd fighting a 13-inch fall of snow which tied up traffic. Buf falo reported-foUi’-Teet of snow, while northern* cities-announced*-.that they welcomed-a-white-Christmas, NEW AMERICAN KINGS OF THE sk y . . . The new “Peace Patrol” of the U, S. navy, upper left. This sky ihip will guarantee law and order in zones of America’s nfluence. Lower left: The army’s “Bloch Buster” special was being tried out to carry 13,000 pounds of bombs to be dropped on Berlin, when war ended. Upper right: Draw ing of army X8-36, six-engine superbomher of the pusher type, faster and more powerful than the superfortress. It is now in process of assembly by the army. ☆ ☆ NAMED UNO DELEGATES . . . Secretary of State Byrnes, upper left, will head the U. S. delegates to the general assembly of the United Na tions. Edward R. Stettinius Jr„ upper right, will head the delegation during the absence of Secretary Byrnes. Senator Connally, lower right. Senator Vandenherg, lower left, and Mrs. Franklin D. Roosevelt were the other members of the delegation chosen by President Truman. Stet- tinius will also serve as the U. S. representative in the security council with rank of ambassador. THOUGHTS ON THE MARKET Scenes resembling those leading up to the 1930 -stock market crash are now visible in all brokerage offices. And they are being re-enacted in technicolor. A burned child dreads the fire, but an adult will always go for sec ond degree burns if the tips “are hot” enough. There is even a more reckless mood in today’s buying due to the • fact this is a screwier age in which, the gambling fever has never nm higher. Horses, dice, gin rummy and football poo> have made America risk-slappy. . Most people have more cash than, they know what to do with, so they are accepting advice from . stran- The horse players are in the mar ket, too. We heard a fellow rush up when his. stock went off a point yes terday and claim a foul. He is the same one who boasted that he had bought Chrysler and Eastman, and thought they Kad a good chance in the daily double a t the weights. ■ All some brokerage offices need is . a smell of hay, a list of jockeys, an objection heard and a morning line. In factj it is our belief the stock market should no longer be opened with a gong. It is time to use a bugle. * . Remember, away back when “Never Again!” ''was the Voice of' America so far as speculating' in stocks, was. concerned? . . _ ,: Reflections on Housing The housing crisis has reached a point where it is suggested that “Tenting Tonight” replace “Home, Sweet Home” as an American folk song. A four-room fabricated house' at $2,399 is on sale at a New York department store. “What floor for ^residences, landscape gardening and cinder paths, please?” The old-fashioned Ami may have been remiss and in many ways, but he . never fused a new jiome with a chic house. BACK HOME STUFF Frank Bergen, ex-Princeton quatterhuck, is now a court magistrate hack home md making quite a record for homespun phiU osophy. The other day, replying to a wom an’s complaintcomplaint thathat thehe smokemoke fro\rom t t s f a kero-- sene lamp made her apartment unhealthfut, Frank came out as a defender o f the la m ^ “What do you mean by that?” he demanded. - “1 grew up in the kero sene-lamp era, and never knew it to hurt anybody. Did you trim the wick? Do you realize that it takes a lot of work to keep a kerosene lamp in good condition, but that if you do it, it’s fine?” ' Which brings back memories i eners in our boyhood. There WCl pretty beautiful ones. The parlor lamp was especially high, wide and fancy. Andirim- irim- 'cks was a nightly phore. i polishing the globes, hoc eem the loveliest Iamps were sent often tc rosene, and it just iUtz, the grocer, used i potato over the spout as a cork. Elmer Twitchell says there hasn’t been any real happiness in the world sii»ce the old-fashioned wood en beer keg went out. ories o f kero- re some fancy. An d store for kerosene, and it ju st comes back was forever polishing the globes. Looking back, they seem the loveliest l in the world. We were sent often to there ised to stick a A radio program which makes phone calls at random and offers cash prizes if the subscriber an swers a question had this one the other day, “Under what king was I infn linn's Unn?** BEST DRESSED . . . Fashion crit ics have voted Mfs. Stanley Morti mer of New York the world’s best- dressed woman. Mrs. Mortimer calls herself a working girL She is shown in one of her evening gowns. lay, Daniel tossed into the lion’s den?** Elmer. Twitchell lost the pot by re plying, “This is a deep humiliation, but I can’t even recall the name ot the lion.” “Molotov uses the American term ‘Okay’ and knows it means yes ia English.”—News Item. But does he know what means “yes” in Russian? Asked if he didn’t want to take a look at the recent total eclipse of the moon Fred Allen quipped. “No, I ’ll catch it next time.”